a quiet morning

It has been over a week since I've written last, the holidays consuming most of my free time, so I wanted to write about the various current happenings. Maddie spent the night last night and she and Megan are still sleeping. We had a girls night last night (mom included) and went to see 'ps: i love you,' which I had higher expectations for. Then we came back and Maddie opened her present from us and we played scrabble. Before our girls night started Aidan stopped by to say hi. I hadn't seen him since June, so it was a nice surprise. He was abroad for a semester and spent the summer away as well so having him home feels good :)
We leave for Sun Valley tomorrow morning. A week of family time and skiing! I'm not bringing my cell phone and completely cutting myself off from all social connections, friends, and drama. I think it will be really good for me to have some time to myself before next semester starts and my life turns into strictly school, tennis, and sorority stuff (possibility).
Being home for longer than a few days has started to set in and I'm loving waking up in the morning and being able to open a refrigerator. PLUS I do not have to get somewhat dressed and put on shoes to get breakfast. That will be truly missed.
Even so, I am getting excited to see my girls again. It has been about 2 weeks and I miss them dearly. But hopefully this last week doesn't go by too fast!

Hope everyone's holidays were as special as mine. ♥


ps: it snowed on christmas! even though it didn't stick, it was so pretty!! :)

lots of rain

How much do I miss home? Enough to be absolutely enjoying these cold, wet, cloudy days. That's just HOW much :D


Everything seems darker as the day progresses and nothing seems to change much. The grass outside is cold and damp; just enough to soak the bottoms of my jeans. Brown birds huddle in groups around the puddles that are scattered on sidewalks like sprinkles on a cake. I breathe in deeply, the cold air cutting into my throat as if someone was slowly squeezing the life out.
The oaks stand still and strong, too massive to be affected by any of natures annoyances. Wind rolls in and out but their bare branches remain motionless. I watch through the cracks of the wooden blinds, staring at the winter day. The rain drops remind me of tears; messy and disorganized, hitting the ground in odd sizes and at different times. People pull out their umbrellas to shield themselves from the emotion.

I believe all you need is a raindrop to make you appreciate the little things in life.

almost home...

Tomorrow morning is my last final and then I'm offically on christmas break :) I am so excited to be done and VERY ready for new classes next semester. Even though it kinda feels like christmas time, being here with 70 degree days and palm trees feels weird to me over the holidays. I miss our big green trees and cold air and snow days. But I'll be home with 10 days before the day hits so hopefully i will get my fill. Mom decorated the christmas tree a few nights ago. Megan contributed one ornament and Austin decided to pick one of mom's favorites and LAY it on a branch. nice work guys.
I'm also almost over my cold, which we are thinking I got from mom. Still have a sore throat but I'd take that over a fever.
Things I'm looking forward too:
being home, holiday with the family, sun valley; skiing! :) no homework. a break from dorm life, and presents!!! (oh and shopping with megan) yah!

My advent caledar is over half way opened! makes me kinda sad....

one more week!

This week is finals, woohooo! I have 3 exams and 3 papers due. Two of the papers have been successfully completed and I'm about to write the thrid. AND there all for one class, which sounds ridiculous I know.
I think I might finally be getting over my cold. Now all I'm left with is a cough. Friday night we stayed in, drank tea, and watched christmas movies (The Grinch and Rudolph) I tried to go to bed early however the guys on our floor prohibited me to do so. We ended up with duck-tape taped over our peep hole and tennis balls thrown at our door. fun, yep!
Last night I night I had a little more energy so we went to a holiday party at a house off campus. It was very fun and so good to see everyone on my last weekend here before break :)
On my list of things to do--- get secret santa gift, bake xmas cookies downstairs!, study psyc, edit papers, get jackie a bday present! (Dec.16th) and begin tidying up/ packing for home!!!

I hope everyone is making it through the busy christmas season! ♥

ps: get better lizzie!! 3 times to the ER in one week... yes some kind of record :(

Ahhh this is so late!

It has been over a week, I know! I'm just going to make this a lot easier and describe my recent happening in a list format! enjoy!

- happy holidays! 8th day on my yummy advent calendar! I go home in offically one week!
- finals are next week, and I only have one more class on monday! spanish... booo
- im slowly getting over my sickness, icky! lets pick a more convient time, huh? its turning into just a bad cough now, but last night was miserable!
- my friends and i are doing SECRET SANTA :) and I have... Ha! Im not telling!
- my no sugar before the holidays in still in effect... getting a tiny bit easier! (but advent caledar chocolates dont count, teeheehe :)
- jackie made me the most amazing "finals prep CD" i absolutely love her for it
- last night was christmas movies night! rudolph the red nose reinider and the GRINCH!
- making holiday cookies either today or tomorrow
- Honey-lemon cough drops are my new best friend!
- i have to write 2 english papers this weekend! blah!


Christmas: 17 days to go!
I hope the holidays are stress free and tons of smiles :)
♥

hello hello

It has almost been a week since Ive update which can kind of give you an idea of how busy Ive been. Im definately not looking forward to my next 2+ weeks of prep for finals/finals however getting through it all will only put me back home for holiday break :) which im SO LOOKING FORWARD TO. There are many things piling up and frequent breakdowns are bound to surface... its inevitable.
Reguardless, Im trucking through it all and hoping my hard work will pay off when semester grades are finalized.

Things Im (not) looking forward to:

Psyc Test: next thrusday
Bio 45min Presentation: next tuesday
6-8 page paper in english on Shakespeare... 2 of them.
Spanish skit: 5min memorized in front of the class
ahhhhh... oh and mom and i's new 'no sugar' kick for the holidays.. wooohooooo.......

downloaded some new xmas songs onto the ipod.. HOLIDAY SPIRIT!!!!♥

happy thanksgiving! (i'm home!!!)

Happy Thanksgiving to all my family and friends :)
I got home tuesday night after a full day of cleaning, packing, driving, and two flights. It is so amazing to be home, I absolutely love it. 34 degrees and feeling good! Yesterday I went driving with Megan and got to ride in her new car, yah! We ran some errands and got lunch with Anjelica and Liz at the French Hen, yum yum. Then I went for a run with dad and had a nice home cooked dinner!

♥Things I have missed:

Not having to wear shoes in the shower
Opening a refridgerator
Lying on a couch
On-Demand
Using a stove
Carmel cookies :)
My dog, miss abbey
My bed (it looks so much lower! weird i know..)
Colorful leaves, bare trees
Lakewood :) familiar streets, places, etc.
Wearing jackets and scarfs
Running outside
Bubble baths
Oprah!
Changing in a room without a towel wrapped around me
Uggs & boots

**the list could go on forever, so to sum it up I miss home and am so happy to be back here. I hope everyone has an aamazing thanksgiving. I am thankful for my family and friends and the time we get to share together.
HAPPY THANKSGVING!!

2 days!

2 days until I'm back in lovely Washington! :) It almost surreal feeling, as if I've been at camp or something and have almost forgotten what home looks like. The only thing I have to get through is my spanish test tommorrow... thats all. Once I make it through that ill be well on my way to celebrating the holiday and enjoying a relaxing much needed break.
Thank you mom&meg for the red nail polish! I've so festive I put it on my toes and liked it so much it is now on my fingers. yah! im addicted.
See everyone soon! Very, very soon!

all registered

I am offically registered and ready for spring semester classes.
They are as follows:

MWF: Spanish 202 (9:30am)
MWF: Math 102 (11:00am)
TTH: Intro to World Literature (9:30am)
TTH: Women, Sex & Western Religion (11:30am)

May Term: Community Service... havent quite decided on what kind yet! :)

Registering... stressful, chaotic, exciting, releaving!
allllll donnneeeee! check it off my list :D

one week!

I'm home in a week! Honestly... the best feeling in the world.

Things to Do before I leave:

- study for spanish test
- do load of laundry
- pack essentials
- mapquest Palm Springs airport
- wash my car
- paint toe nails
- write draft for english paper
- register for next semester classes
- organize desk
- turn in add/drop slip
- tan! haha
- work on my "re-shaping"


-------------------------------

when things get too deep
too quickly
sometimes you are just blinded by the instant good feeling
you choose not to see
that what you are doing does not fix your hurt
but acts only as a band-aid for that wound that just won't heal.

i always seem to find those feel good band-aids
and never seem to worry about the scar they leave.

I ♥ sunday's

it was another amazing lazy day... i do in fact love my sundays, there basically what I live for. In the span of 9 hours I watched 3 distracted episodes of FRIENDS, Ratalouliee, 1/2 a season of Americas Next Top Model, and Desperate housewives :)
I dont feel too bad about my unproductive-ness becuase Lo and I had a super productive saturday. I FINALLY got my camera fixed :) when to taget, trader joes, this cute shoe store, gas station, and washed my sheets. Afterwards, we worked out and had a healthy dinner at the plaza. It the best feeling in the world when laundry is done, bed is made, room is clean, and fridge is stocked. Geezz I feel like such an adult lately. Well except for the 9 hour tv/movie marathon :D
This week is the home stretch... 10 days until im home! Im getting so excited.
Register for classes on WEDNESDAY AT 4:30pm... hopefully i get into the ones I want. I'm kind of nervous about avalibility of my writing workshop I want to take. It's mainly a sophomore class so the spaces could fill up quickly, but theres always the waiting list and add/drop slips.
Otherwise, all is well and good. Weeks have flown by, it feels like only last week Mom and Megan were here to see me in early october.. and now its nearing mid-november.
As much as I love it here I miss home sooo much. Seeing everyone is going to be amazing. Not having to put a seatcover before using the bathroom, wearing shoes in the shower, taking student cards to meals, doing my own laundry..... the perks of college life, huh? ;)
ahhhh I AM READY RIGHT NOW!!

weekend is looking soo amazing.. one stressfull week id like to forget about

My psych text is over FINALLLYY! omgoodnesss..
The weekend is here Delta party tonight... ahhhh everything feeeellsss sooo much bettteerrrr.
what a life what a life.

:D wouldn't want to change a thing.

stressing..

blah. I have so much to do. The only thing keeping me going is holiday break coming up in exactly 2 weeks. I miss home and WA and the little lakewood :) I have a psyc test tomorrow that ive been studying for, and should be right now. After my test everything will slow down a little. It's been 2 1/2 months since I've been home, in my house, in my bed and I miss it! ahhh days are still warm here, nights are getting colder. Im so excited for Thanksgiving i think I have a problem, lol. Mom just texted me and said were doing el guacho on saturday night, yah! :D never been and so excited for some yummy food! ahhhhh.
I'm tired and grumpy and the Williams showers are doing something weird again where we only get hot water sometimes. Could someone please tell me when sometimes is so I know when to hop in? great, thanks.
Delta party tomorrow night. Excited. Really Excited. But cannot think about it until after 1220 tomorrow (when test is over) its not even a HUGE test im just stressing over it because theres so much information to know and its hard to process it all.
Pushing through...

Movies Ive seen: American Gangster, Bee Movie.
American G- good, informative, kinda violent (had to close my eyes for some parts!) but overall good.
Bee Movie- very cute! kinda like finding nemo type. cute cute :D

CONGRATULATIONS TO MISS TIFFANY AND KORY NEWGARD ON THEIR NEW BABY GIRL. Avery Jeanne Newgard. Pictures have been circulating and shes adorable!!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Happy Halloween!!!!!
I got my halloween package today! FAT WITCH brownies and cookies :) annoyingly delicious. omgoodness. My roommates are irratated with me, guarenteed because I've forced them to eat like 5 each, haha. Yaiza thinks its my ploy to get her fat... Im like its halloween! youre allowed a cheat day ;)
Thank you Mom, Megan, Dad and Austin for the yummy treats. I loved them and so did my friends!
I hope everyone enjoys themselves and eats lots of candy! :o)

good luck tarriers the game tonight! I know you guys will pull it out. Its Halloween and thats a bummer, put just put in some cute orange and black ribbons and you will be set! I love you Megan! kisses!

To my family:
Even with everything that happened, nothing is lost forever. I will always remember the years and trips we had and our countless memories. I'll miss the pinecone comforters, hot cocoa mugs, and playing cards on those tippy stools while mom whips up dill and veggies, haha. Mom, always in the kitchen :)

I love you guys.

Anything to look forward to?
--> Perks for the girls: shopping!

halloween approaching!

2 days left until Halloween... except it feels like its been the everlasting holiday given that campus had costume parties on both last thursday and saturday nights. The girls and I dressed up saturday and went out to a few parties... it was so much fun and we all went as something different. A fairy, ladybug, devil, filght attendant, and a french maid (me). By the end of the night my feet were killing me from Hilary's 4 inch heels and i desperately needed advil.
This was also our homecoming weekend so on Friday night we went to our homecoming centennial ball. Got all dressed up and went dancing! It was lots of fun, tiring and hottt, but fun :) it was a nice feeling to put on a dress and take some cute pictures, made me feel like I was getting ready for our homecoming dance last year. Except this one was like 10 times bigger (and BETTER!)
Real halloween, Wednesday, is still up for debate. Maybe a night of scary movies and too much halloween candy, or possibly a haunted house. Either way we will be in spirit and ready to go! I got a nice box of delicious chocolate shortbread cookies a funny funny card from my lovely sister and lindsey and lindsay. The cookies are gone now... but were througholy enjoyed and devoured.
GOOD LUCK TO MEGAN AND THE GIRLS CWA SOCCER TEAM IN THE BIG GAME TONIGHT VS. SEATTLE ACADEMY!!!!! you all are already co-league champions but win this one and the journey further will be much easier. I love all of you girls and know you will all do amazingly.

Mom says there is something in the mail for me (another yummy holiday treat) to be delivered either tomorrow or on halloween. waiting patiently..... :D

♥

homecoming week!

So, I am in desperate need of an update. You could guess that the reason it's been almost a week since my last entry illustrates how busy I've been. Rather than giving the play-by-play of my past 5 days, I thought I'd highlight the interesting parts/ stories that would actually be fun to read.
Let's see. Monday, dinner was 50's themed. I thought it would be really fun; music, decor, something different, etc. However the exact opposite was true. We get in there (the commons) and are immediately freaked out by the set-up. I had no idea how weird I was going to be about things in the commons changing. It sounds so dorky but I got flustered and confused on where the stations were that I had been eating at for the past 9 weeks. Given that, and the fact that music (bad 50's music) was blarring so loud I had to scream at Hilary in the sandwich line to form some sort of communication, and that about 80% of our student body decided for some reason to all chose to go to dinner at 6... turned our "looked-forward-to 50's dinner" a complete disaster. I ended up with cereal bc I got cut in the sandwich line and then resultantly, a new line form parallel to me, removing me completely from the word sandwich. I settled for capn' crunch and pineapple, i was grumpy the rest of the night.
Tuesday, fires struck the greater So-cal area and everyone freaked out. Campus was mayhem for like a day until reports finally started to come in on location of fires and evac situations. A girl on the floor below me had to go home to evac her house and the last thing she heard was that it was surrounded on 3 sides by fire. Wednesday San Diego was hit too, so in many classes I noticed a least 4-5 people gone, going home to evac their homes and hope their house is still standing in a few days.
Although we didnt get fires here (25 miles away) we definately have been affected by the smoke. Air&pollution control group deemed our air 'unheathly' and all outdoor sports have been suspended since tuesday. This includes tennis, so intersquad matches have been delayed, and soccer games. AND our HOMECOMING FOOTBALL GAME TOMORROW has been moved to Palm Desert High School.... homecoming game, home game - no more. now 1 hour away. everyone not so excited :/
Class update- Spanish mid-term next Friday, Spanish paper due next Wednesday, Bio lad Report due next Thursday, 6-8 pg Dracula paper due in two Monday's. Things are piling up, stress building, but I'm plowing through only because Thanksgiving break is a little less than a month away!! :)
Went to a 'four-year plan' meeting with this really nice lady named Jen. She helped me map out what I wanted to do, where my interests lie, and what requirments I need to fulfill. After a long meeting, she gave me some optional major's to look at and think about. After sifting through the confusing and technical terms in our class catelog, I think I settled on a direction. Right now I'm looking at majoring in English, with an emphasis on writing. For English majors, you can either take a writing or literature path. I think writing fits me more so. Walking out of the meeting with some sort of idea for what I want to work towards for the next 4 years got me excited and giddy for everything I have yet to experience.
Some notes:
THANK YOU SO MUCH MEGAN, LINDSAY, AND LINDSEY FOR THE DELICIOUS COOKIES (NO CRUMBS!) AND CARD (MEG!) I loved the halloween spirit and getting a package always makes my day 10 million times better!!!! I love you all bunches and bunches and it was very thoughtful :)
GOOD LUCK CWA IN THE HOMECOMING GAME TOMORROW (both football and soccer!) GO GO GO!!!

will write more later :D
♥

weekend wrap-up

Its Sunday. The weekend went too quickly, once again. I am surprised that it is already getting close to the end of october. I feel like just a few days ago I was posting something saying that it was the start of a new fall month. Everything is going well, we've had the most beautiful past three days, 80's and blue skies. I still find myself walking outside for morning class and being surprised by the smells and palm trees. October in washington is looking a bit different than this these days, and for that I am happy as a clam that Im here :D
happenings happenings happenings...
♥ Friday. classes, lunch with lo outside 'coffe bean & tea leaf' so cute! stopped by this little surf shop and got a cute tank top. mexican dinner with all the girlies at el torito, flautas! yum! and then party hopped a few places :)
♥ Saturday. brunch, gym, starbucks, water polo game (we won!), margaritas at the delta house, dinner, boys soccer game, night life.. etc. :) Saturday was so relaxing, I loved it. shorts and a tank at the end of october? im falling in love with this place.
♥ Sunday. well, currently this. brunch soon, just waiting for the other gals to wake up... long night ;) teeeheeeeheeee. but we all made it back in one piece and thats the goal.

notes:
Halloween soon! I'm going to be a french maid.
Homecoming next week! so excited for all the festivities
Jackie and Lo's parents are coming next weekend! Hil and I are getting adopted :)
Tennis gym work outs, starting 3 days a week, with this trainer guy, god help me.
English Victorian presentation on Wednesday

------good luck megan and austin on finishing up your sports seasons! soccer and football. you both are doing so well!

taking a breather..

So i somewhat sped through my last update given how many things have gone on this past week.
My weekend with mom and maymay was a breath of fresh air, since I hadn't seen either since the middle part of august. Our girlie weekend included shopping and dinner in redlands, which was exciting for me since I havent ventured out that far, we found 3 really cute boutiques! like CAKE kinda, and megan got these really cute grey burmudas (spelling?) that mom said she wouldnt wear but i pushed the purchase :) Then we went to a yummy dinner in town where I got to eat something other than commons chicken and salad, yah! Afterwards we went to the cinema nearby, you can actually walk there! and saw The Heartbreak Kid.. which was HILARIOUS but nonetheless raunchy, correctly R-rated, kinda soft porn-ish... haha, but I was like crying I was laughing so hard!
Saturday I met the two at their hotel for breakfast, accompanied with Starbucks lattes :) and we hit the road to Palm Desert, aka el paseo, for the day. We made it there in under 50 minutes, I liked the drive and am confident now that I could try it alone, be it to Grandma Mary's or the Kantors, etc.
A lunch at Tommy Bahama's and a few credit card transactions later, we made it back to get showered and ready for thai food with my girlfriends. Megan, Mom, 4 girls, and I all enjoyed a delicious din din and treated ourseleves to Ohana's afterwards (the best frozen yogurt in town, uhumm!!) That night megan spent the night in my dorm with me and was highly entertained by my friends and the activities of the night....
Sunday we went to brunch, coffe bean & tea leaf for a snack, and drove to the airport for a 4:15 (which turned into a 5:15) plane.
All in all it was a successful weekend, a nice break from the clutter and nonstop college life, a good to see some family faces!
I missed Dad and Austin though. Next trip down, its the boys turn ;)
Off to english..

ps: MEGAN GOT HER LICENSE YESTERDAY... 92% WOOHOOOOOO. (now she just needs to learn how to drive her car, haha)

long day

I'm am writing this, avioding all homewrok, well avioding all work. i am extremely exhausted and feel like I've been hit by a train. I tried to work on my english paper at 130pm today and feel asleep. Then went to the gym, where i actually felt ok, and tennis practice, and afterwards i went back to my blah day. My nap i feel made me more tired, even though it was less than an hour. The Hills are on tonight, that is the only thing keep me up right now... well that AND the balsting rap music from room 317, my roommates, the blaring floresent lights, ping pong playing, and my inability to concentrate on anything productive.
Quite the day.
What else can I write that is somewhat interesting about my life. Thanksgiving. 34 days away. AKA home in about 5 weeks. weird? yes. excited? hell yes! home, family, friends, my bed, my dog, a serile shower, and home cooking!
Halloween is coming up... were going to be football players i think, cute? yea jerseys as dresses w/ leggings and black "hard core" stripes. oh and jello-shots ;) teeeeheeeeheeee just kidding mom!!

Current thanks to:

- Megan and Mom for spending an amazing weekend with me
- Mom for ordering me new shampoo and conditioner, and bringing me down a random list of things and an ADORABLE halloween care package thing
- well, not really a thanks but anjelica and megan got my cards today! :)
- Liz for always making the effort to play catch and making being her best friend a really easy job
- Megan, for the new CD!!
- Dad, for not completely freaking out when he recieved the monthly statement for my bank account. :D I went to LA, whats a girl to do?
- ANd to all the girlies here: for sticking with me these first 6 weeks while we all figure out what this whole college thing is all about :)


I miss home, and everyone whose apart of my life, be it in NYC (anna!) to Morocco (adian!) to CWA (class of 08♥ ) to mom-dad-meg-austin, in lakehood :)

Love you all, ♥

to the airport!

I'm one my way to the airport to pick up Megan and Mom! Their flight gets in at 930am, it takes about a 1/2 hour to get there. Kinda nervous about the exits because everyone says theres like 8 signs for the free way, so Im leaving a little early to aviod confusion :) I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE THEM. I'm so giddy right now, I woke up at 7 and already went to breakfast with my friend, had an hamlet, made my bed, picked up my room, and am ready to see some smiling faces! That I have missed so much!
This weekend is going to be so busy, I know I probably wont update until Sunday, BUT all is well.

Because Mom didnt think shed use a rental car, I'm skipping Spanish to pick them up. Such a rebel ;)

Have a good weekend everyone!! ♥

happy birthday mom!

Happy Birthday Mommy!!!
I know you're turning 30 something... I just forget exactly ;)
I am so excited to see you in less than 2 days, now going to bed! finally finished my bio lab, ugh!
I hope you have a good day, I'm thinking of you!

I love you. very very much! xoxoxo

YAH YAH YAH!

MOM AND MEGAN OFFICALLY FLY IN IN T-MINUS 48 HOURS... I AM SOOO EXCITED!!!!!
WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SOOO MUCH FUN!!! however... forecast does show 73 friday, 72 saturday, BUT 80 sunday
(happy early birthday mom!) :)





♥ ♥


ps (to fam): just about to head to the mail room to get my package!! :)

home sweet home

After a fun-filled, first road trip off campus, Jackie and I finally made it back in one piece. It was so great to see Liz and meet all of her friends. We met her roomate, and then the two girls who share a room and then share a bathroom w/ liz and both were very nice too. UCLA was pretty, but so so overwhelming! Lots of people, lots of lines, lots of waiting, and lots of confusion (mostly on my end.) Liz had to go to her spanish class yesterday and left Jackie and I to fend for ourseleves to find lunch. We were successful, only after we got over the fact that the place we ate at was bigger than our commons & plaza (which we only have one of) and this place was one of 8 on campus. Yes, I guess 'big' is the word.
We also met her good friend Christie, who runs with her but is injured. She hilarious and keeps us entertained, to say the least.
We went cite seeing around campus, shopping on Rodeo, I got 2 new dresses! :) ate dinner at the News Room, I was happy to be eating something other than chicken, and then late went to this yummy ice cream place called Diddy Riese (?) where you get to pick two homemade cookies and the ice cream you want and they make you an AMAZING ice cream sandwich. omg, so good.
Oh, but we did run into some bumps. We managed to get 2 parking tickets in one day. One at ucla for $45 for not having a permit and one on Rodeo Drive for $40. yah, neat. How we managed to do that i do not know, but me + liz + jackie = not too tough.
It was in the 80's both days, ride down there was no traffic, ride back... we left at 2ish and just got back 20 minutes ago... so.
Lots of directions to follow, but we couldnt have done it without Navi. Shes a gem.
Other random road trip adventures? ----
-liz broke down in the verizon store bc some retard is charging her $100 per month for her new phone, and for a service she isnt using.
- ive never pulled so many u-turns in my life.
- low point: a box of SPRINKLES cupcakes. 4. jackie and i in the car, coming home. no lunch. each ate one. too delicious to describe. OH no. last two were orignally bought with the thought that we would bring them home....hmmmmm
Jackie:2 Me:2. left feeling sick, but sooooo worth it :D
- i laid on my horn for really no reason other than bulit up stress, LA freeways can do that to a girl.
- jackies road trip mix was amazing.
- some mexican saw me and jackie eating in out car and looked at me and licked his lips. I screamed and Jackie almost hit the SUV in front of us...
- there are MANY cute guys at her school... liz needs to get on that
No more i can think of right now. Glad to be back home, everything here has never felt so familiar. :) I love our little school!

i got mail today!

So snail-mail of the day thanks goes to two people:
1. The Kaiser family (expecially Olivia!!) who sent me and very cute little card and some VERY pretty pictures courtesy of Olivia. Flowers, a rainbow, and other various drawings are up on my wall now, in front of my computer. That wall was so plain and made it feel like a prison in here! So thank you SO MUCH for making it a little warmer in here :) i look at them all the time!
AND 2. goes to my sister, Megan. who sent me a letter (long and informative) and a piece of fruitstripe gum :) it was so fun to get to my mailbox and see something in it!
Today was quite productive:
Woke up at 11, went to brunch, had an amzing hamlet and muffin :) , watched friends episodes, went for a run outside around campus, washed my sheets w/ jackie, took a shower, wrote some cards, went to the plaza for dinner, drove some boys to get chinese food (im the only one with a car lol), came back and went to ohana's with the girls, watched more friends, folded/put away my clothes (which made me grumpy), put my sheets on my bed, and am currently updating this.
Tomorrow will be just as productive... what a break can do for a girl!

FALL BREAK PLANS!!

SO OUR 4 day break is quickly approaching and I finally have some plans nailed down! We (as in Jackie and I... the only 2 of our friends who are here for break.) are going to spend the weekend here, and then Monday morning wake up and take a road trip down to UCLA to visit Lizzieee!!!! They have a pull out couch for us to sleep on and we're going to stay there Monday night, and leave Tuesday, probably home before dinner. YAH! I'm so excited, it's been about 3 weeks since she came down to stay with me and I am very excited to meet her friends/ roommate/ and xcountry team! AND shopping in westwood isn't sounding too bad either... :D
We were going to pick a weekend day to go down but Monday makes more sense. A. because I want to get up and leave early morning to get there with the most time and that will prove a tough task if we are hung over B. because leaving on Monday feels soo much cooler since we dont have schhoooolll :) and C. becuase liz only has one class that day.
YAH. plans plans. plans. My Navi will help us but Jakcie does have an excellent sense of direction. After Starbucks I'll be ready to face the LA frreways and if not... well i'll make Jackie drive.
All for now,
♥

PS: MEGAN GOT ASKED TO HOMECOMING TODAY!!! BY HARRY. HES SO CUTTEEEE AND HE ASKED HER WITH CUPCAKES.... CUTEST THING EVER... the question on everyones mind? Was is Harry or his mom who made them? teeeheeeehheee.
I LOVE YOU MEGAN...oh and ps: your getting your dress down here so I can help you pick it out!! :)

my freshmen september

Well, its offically OCTOBER. Even typing it sounds weird. My "freshmen September" is behind me and I have successfully made it through my first month of college.

The things I've learned so far:
- Always wear shoes in the shower.
- When at dinner, if your one of the last ones to get your food, look for your friends and where their sitting ahead of time so that when you actually have tray-in-hand you dont look lost and sad.
- Make sure shoes are comfortable on Tuesday's and Thursday's... walking the length of the campus in under 10 minutes creates both blisters and makes you look like you need someone to help you get there.
- If alone and awkward have a pretend conversation with yourself on your cell, no one knows theres no one on the other line.
- Don't make eye contact with the creepy guy in Biology. You will get eye-raped.
- Deodorant. check. always.
- Shave legs every 2 days, I didn't realize how often I were shorts (or always) and thinking about your legs is sometimes low on the list of "to-do's."
- Bring room key to shower. If not, your roomate will asume you have one, leave and lock the door, and your left standing.. naked and sopping wet, wandering the halls looking for an RA. Yeah, thats neat.
- Take drinks from boys that you've watched them open. Date rape is out there, I'm always on the alert!
- Drink lots of water. It's really weird but its all too easy to forget about liquids.
- Bring hot cocoa/coffee to Bio in the mornings... provides something for me to focus on oher than holding head up.
- Check oufit before you leave your room.
Story: Hil wanted to go get food, I was in my pj's, I said OK! yeah, grabbed my keys and left. Thought everyone was looking at my cute new sweat shorts.. nope. just the paul frank boy breifs underneath them.
- If you hear a skateboard, move quickly to left side of sidewalk. They won't wait for you.
- Gym: always grab a hand towel and make sure to pick the machines furthest from the weight room side. They're are too many guys who create distractions in there and I've had 2 close calls keeping my balance on the treadmills.
- If its past 1 and a guy tells you your beautiful and you ask him his name and he takes a couple seconds to answer and then kinda falls over and spills his beer on you..... he won't remember your face/convo in the morning even if he tried.

I have probably like 478 more lessons learned but my list is getting kinda long!
Dinner time, then more PSYC studying. woho!

happy sweet sixteen megan!!!

It is my sisters 16th birthday today and I cannot believe that she is ready and legal to hit the road! Honestly, it seems like a week ago I was just starting to drive and Megan was in the passengers seat on the phone with mom telling her that we were still alive. ha.
I have not seen a good picture yet, but she has been given her car (thursday surprise!) it is a pearl white audi a4 with black interior. so cute! BUT it is a stick shift so I know there will be a couple stories to come of stalling out in intersections...
well HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEGAN. I wish I could be home today to give her a hug and have her tower over me. Me: 5'4 Her: 5'8. Neat.
I am about to make edits on an english paper that is due tomorrow. 6 pages of fun! Actually I think its going to be a good one. I've met with the professor twice now and i've read it so many times I'm pretty, actually REALLY sick of reading it. Hope it goes over well!
Jimmy EAt World is coming to campus! its our annual FALL FEST today. However, I did not buy tickets because I have 4 tests this week... and psych on tuesday is going to be horrible. There is so much to know! Ahhh.
What else?
- I'm starting a count down till when Mom and Megan come see me. October 12th... 13 days away (counting today) So SO SO excited.
- Fall Break: Oct. 6th-9th. it will feel soooo goooooodd. During which there is a definate possibility my girls and I will take a trip to Disneyland!!!
- Eyes are doing better, less blurry and light sensitive
- The fam and I finally got our iChat up and running! It was so good to see them in person! Oh and with megans new addition to our little Mac family she can chat with me too! :)
- Last night it had been offically a month since my first night here. Time really does fly.
- Tennis tournament in Claremont yesterday, I played doubles and lost. We were lucky enough to play the #1 seat for Claremont in the first round.
- I am incredibly tired.
- Just did a load of laundry and feel like an acomplished and clean person.
- Today is Sunday.... which means its sundea sunday. yum yum!
- OH and last night we had a team dinner at this girl Katie's house and her parents made us spinach/artichoke dip w/ pita chips, lasangua, and mud pie for dessert. it was so insanely delicious I really couldn't stand it. Homemade food has never tasted so good. (Accept for your dinners mom!!) So it basically made me homesick for real for and not commons sandwiches..
- Team bonding night: Wednesday. @ the Branding Iron (this 18+ dance/bar club thing) .....should be a good time :)

Love everyone and Happy Birthday to sis again!!!
♥

my list of current happennings

In route to go to bed but wanted to give a list of the lastest happenings:

- fire drill last night: 11:30pm... i actually thought there was a fire.
- wanted to work out this morning, set my alarm for 7am, when 7 came I reset it for 8am, and then when 8 came I threw my clock at my desk.
- girls soccer game tonight. vs cal lutheran. we tied.
- i ate lunch by myself today, i sat under a tree and ate my sandwich as quickly as possible.
- got to english 25 minutes early because I didn't want to sit by myself for any longer than necessary and i know the teacher thinks I do not have a life.
- i have the busiest day of my life tomorrow... class starts at 9:30am - tennis team dinner ends at 7pm...
- no more partying on thursday's, 3 nights in a row makes a walking train wreck.
- I went to the ER on sunday, then to the optomitrist yesterday, new drops, new doctor, 2 eye infections.
(i dont know if im contagious)
- i have 4 tests next week.
- and a 6 page paper due on monday.
- i worked out yesterday when the entire baseball team entered (5 minutes after my workout began) and ended up running for 4.5 miles because I didn't want to walk by them all.... so I just waited until they left... kept running until they left...
- oh ps: my legs feel like lead.
- i have my bio class in the morn and it is seriously a problem. I get to the point where I'm not so much scared im going to fall asleep... but more that when I do I'll fall out of my chair and onto the guy aka creepo. next to me.
- people think I probably wear glasses for fun bc everytime I go somewhere I'm wearing something different on my face.
- it was almost 90 degrees today.
- now I'm going to bed.. :)

hope you enjoyed my power list!

very long weekend

So its pretty late and I just finished up drafting an english essay. I am extremely tried and had one of those never ending-longest -day-of- your-life day's. I woke up late because me and the girls went out last night and we went to brunch. Then we came back and my eyes were bothering me so I tried to put some visine in them. I slept with my contacts in last night, not thinking to take them out before bed, but I've done that in the past and its never been a problem.. Anyways they both turned blood shot and started stinging and then they got really light sensative and starting freaking out. So my roommate helped me turn off the lights and put a cool cloth on my eyes but lying down just made me focus on it more and then I started getting this pressure behind my eyes, like front of my head. SO, to make a long story short I thought I was going blind, haha. And it was really perfect because today was a sunday and our health clinic is colsed sundays.. so hilary and dani ended up having to drive me to the ER to get my eyes checked out. After a 2 hour wait and confusing paperwork that I didnt understand I learned I had two eye infections, woohoooo.
So we went to fill the prescription at Walgreens and then came back to eat dinner. Then Jackie had to drive me back out to Walgreems to PICK up my eye drops. Then, by the time we arrived back on campus disaster struck and my good friend's boyfriend broke up with her. They would have been dating for 3 years on the 10th of october.... So i had to go over and help her for the remaining part of my night. When things calmed down in that department I realized I had an english paper I needed to make some progress on, but due to my eye condition, could not start earlier today SO here I am... midnight. Calling it a night. I have a 730am tennis workout in the morning. That means AT THE GYM at 730AM.... Ummmhmmmm, yeah.
I'll definately sleep well!

i thought i moved away from the rain...

So even if I move states and attempt to find the sunshine, the rain still finds me. I woke up this morning to sprinkles and a very wet parking lot, ugh! Everything is cloudy and grey here, its feels like home! So, in that sense it's kinda nice, well more familiar than "nice" lol, but nevertheless, it's not sunny. This rain also means the courts are wet so the doubles match we were tentatively planning is not looking promising...
Oh! I almost forgot to write about my night last night! :) It was very fun, Hil and I went to the Chi Ro Psi (spelling?) house a little off campus to meet the new frat pledges. It was kinda more like a group date thing. I was actually glad because they were all nice and kinda cute (nothing special lol) but it was better so I didn't feel tied down to talking to just one person. Katie, our friend from Delta was there and a few more of her sorority friends. It was more like a "meet&greet" for the guys, to see if they liked the frat, house, and members, etc. They had wine and cheese and crackers for us. I had a glass (well plastic cup, ha) of red and then white. I liked the white better I think. Anyways, it was really fun and I got to meet a lot of people, even other girls too who where there as dates and friends and stuff.
After that this guy Joe (in my english class, Hil's former crush..) picked us up with his friend and took us to this baseball party. It was okay but it was loud and the guys there were drunk and obnoxious. Anyways, we made it home in one piece, lots more stories but I'm headed out for some brunch, yum! :)

date night!

So, first off... Hil and I have dates tonight!!! :) We met this girl from Delta last night and theres this mixer thing for fraternity pledges and they need dates for dinner/drinks and she thought of us! so we are getting all dressed up in our "cocktail dresses" and heading out for a good dinner and maybe some drinks ;) Hopefully they are cute! But even if they're not, we'll meet people and hopefully get to know some of the Delta girls better. Delta is the sorority I'd be interested in if I chose to go greek.. there are four different ones. But freshmen aren't allowed to rush until second semester spring so no need to worry about it now. I'm off to go do make up and get dressed with Hil. Update later!

oh and liz is coming!!

I almost forgot Liz is coming tomorrow... my first visitor! She's in route to UCLA but is staying with me for one night. I'm so excited to show her around the town, go out to dinner, and have her meet my roommates and new friends :)
I miss her so much! I'm sooo excited!!! :)
♥

my package came!

Just running off to the tennis courts, but I wanted to write a little note because I am so happy my package came today!! :) My wonderful family sent me an entire pan of carmelitas (soooo deliciouis) and a cute card and other random things to keep me busy! I love getting mail and I'm so happy that I got a little something that reminded me of home today. OH and mom sent a REALLY cute pair of sweats from Napa that I'm planning on sporting tonight. yah!
I love you all :) to the moon and back

lazy sunday

So I am due for an update, badly. Between classes and socially packed calendar I need to work on leaving some time to tell everyone what I've been up to. Well, I AM alive! I actually just woke up a little bit ago, late night. Last night was the first football game!! WooHooo.. we won 42-7 :) against some indian team? not sure. Anyways, that was really fun and then late it was our first all-school party 'En Fuego' We all dresseed up in red, orange, and yellow and made a night ot it :)
It was kinda like a dance but a lot of people ended up showing up and it was really good to for once start to see some familiar faces.
We didnt get home until late so a nap is looking pretty good today... I have some homework to do too. Friday I had my first spanish test ant I got an A-. I was pretty happy, and given the fact that most of it was review from HS I didnt have to study that much.
On friday night we went to this baseball party at some guys house off capmpus. The house was a little small for the amount of people who were actually there but they opened up the back yeard so it ws ok.
The heat has somewhat subsided... Wednesday was up there (like 100 again) but its been in the 90's more or less.
Tennis is going well too. I had my second inter-squad challenge match on Friday and won 6-1 6-2 :) I played this sophomore and shes really nice. But it was soo hott out on the court! OMG. I felt like my skin was just going to burn off. Omg. So, I'm 2-0 for intersquad matches. My first one was last sunday and I won in a tiebreaker 6-3 5-7 (tiebreak:10-8) Close, i Know. The girl I played then was a sophomore too and she played #6 for the team last year, so... thats good, yeah? There are 8 girls who make the travelling team and the rest practice and play home matches. I'm not expecting to make travelling and there are a couple girls who are abroad right now who dont come back until second semester, and a few of them were their top players last year. But reguardless, it will be a learning experiencee and I'm so glad the girls are all so nice. One of them is in a sorority (Delta) and wants me to look into it. Greek life would be so much fun but I have to make sure my schedule balances ok. I think after this semester I'll be able to see what I can and can't handle.
Will write back soon. Hi from sunny CA!! :)

a quick update

ahhhh so I havent updated in a while! where does the time go? well I'm just about to go hit but I wanted to write a little something so that it won't be a week since I've writenn anything!! Everthings going so well here! I went out both nights this weekend (and thursday) lol and met lots of really neat people. Its so weird for me to keep seeing non-familiar faces, I have to get used to not knowing everyone, the campus still feels so big!
Its cooling down today, I think (hope!) our 115 degree days are over... today's a designated homework day. And it will be nice to just relax and lay low. I might go lay out but a nap is sounding really good right now. I don't think I realize how much I'm running around doing things, staying out late and waking up at a reasonable hour. I think my energy, or lack there of, will catch up with me. I think it would be wise to power nap before our first monday of school rolls around!

happy labor day!

Classes start tomorrow. My first one is Bio at 9:30am. I think jackie and I are going to hit the gym before, its so nice here! Then I have psch around 11ish. But I havent had a chance to check and see which buliding thats in so! that will be an adventure! :)
Hopefully my other english book that I had to order comes in tomorrow, but I dont have it until Wednesday. Some girls and I watched the HIlls on the internet tonight since cable is hard to come buy and the supposed "cable guy" isnt showing up until Wednesday. woohooo.
We went off campus tonight to look around town (and also to get Ohana frozen yogurt) but since it was labor day everything was closed except for our lovely DQ! gotta love those dipped cones :)
Happy Labor Day everyone!

classes in two days!

Well, today offically concludes my first weekend here. It really weird because these past few days it has felt like there has been a million people all over campus and Im just realizing that 3/4 of our student body is not even here yet. ahh! It already feels so big. Anyways, last night was really fun. We had a dance thing and before me and some girls went to a party the baseball team was throwing. But the apartment was way too small and like 500 degrees so we didnt last long, lol. It's kinda cooled down today? I think the only reason I think that is because there's a breeze but the heat wave is supposed to end at the end of this week.
Classes start tuesday. I think were staying in a watching movies tonight, I have to work on this article for my Bio class due tuesday. Laying low :)
Excited/nervous for everyone else to get here!

weekend

First offical weekend night at school. But since its still freshmen orientation everything is like planned out and organized. The "mingling" is forced and Im getting tired of saying my name and where Im from. BUT it was a fun night, we had the 100th Centenial Dinner celebration where we wore our school colors and such :)
---going to sleep.
ps. register for classes tomorrow! wish me luck!! :D

"Welcome to the time of your life"

Dr. Will Klein came to talk to us tonight and gave us a speech on college life and the in's and out's of everything. It was one of the most influential speeches I've ever heard. It was called "Welcome to the time of your life." I am so happy Im here. I know I'll love it.

college life. day 1 on my own :)

Now I am offically 24+ into my first year at college. Exciting, emotional, stressful, and surprising are all things I'm frequently feeling. Since I went to the same school for 14 years I've never really had to make friends. As weird as that sounds its true. "Making friends" is something entirely new to me but Im excited to meet even more people. The people in my hall are really nice and my neighbors are cool too. Except my room is surrounded by guys, one room to our right and the next two rooms to my right. It's fine and they're all really cool but making girl friends are my main objective right now so sometimes I wish we had some girlie neighbor friends! :) oh well, that means the bathroom across the hall is all ours....
My roommates are realyly nice too, we're in a triple and its working wonderfully!!! I was nervous becuase 3 is not always the best number BUT both Yaiza and Nicolette are amazing. I think we'll have different friend groups, but I kinda like it that way because then you dont always feel like your required to check-in or hang out with them, ya know?
Oh yeah, its 110 degrees outside... yes a heat wave hit yesterday. what fun! I'm basically dying from dehydration and heat exhaustion but ill survive. I went to breakfast with my roomies this morning. It was fun. We register for classes Saturday, hopefully I'll get some of my top picks! ---- which include phscy 101, american history I, critical thinking &writing, spanish 102, and plant biology (my freshmen seminar) i didnt really want to take a language right off the bat, but its required to take 2 consecutive semesters of a language so I thought I'd get it out of the way. blah.
At 3:45 I have my math and language placement tests and then a diversity workshop. what else? I went to lunch by myself today, its a big deal ;) and met some nice girls. I felt awkward at first but they're in my shoes too so its ok.
Ice cream social tonight, excited to meet the people on my floor better! Our RA is really cool too, her name's sabrina.
Hopefully these tests wont take too long, but the computer lab's air conditioned so we're ok!

--- pss. I had to take a trip to the health clinic today. Yeah I know, I was probably their first patient. I have an eye infection so I have to wear my glasses for a week (no contacts) sweet! and have a scratch on my cornea? spelling? lol but yeah my eye is bright red, like you can't even see the white part, it looks like a do drugs.
OH AND the frickin nurse lady gave me these EYE PATCHES to wear and tape to tape it around my head, i was like are you kidding me? Yes, I'm absolutely going to tape an eye patch over my right eye and make friends and be labeled as the freak with one-eye for 8 more months. ummhmmmm

first day of the rest of my life

In about an hour and a half I will be leaving high school behind and starting what some call "the best four years of their life." Im sitting up in bed right now wide eyed and ready to get going... but the bathroom's connected to my parents room and I dont want to wake them up this early :) I've been ready to get up since 5am. On nights where I know the next day is important I never sleep well. I woke up twice to use the bathroom, and once at 330 to check and make sure there was no one in the closet (bc im just paranoid like that) haha. too much oprah?
I have so much to look forward to I'm trying not to look behind. But new beginnings doesn't mean that I will forget what brought me here. New beginnings doesn't mean I will forget who and what shaped me into who I am right now.
I love everyone at home and my family so much. New friends will not replace the old ones, they will just add to my life and hopefully make me laugh, heeheehe.
PS:: have a good first day of school megan!! And I hope Austin has a safe trip home from MS camp :) love you two to the moon and back. and i already miss you guys!!! xoxox

day 2

It's day 2 on the road and we're all settled in to The Beverly Hills Hotel... dad surprised me! :) our room is so nice and the first thing it did was swim in the bath tub, felt soo good. I also got to check my emial before we headed out to make a 730 dinner reservation at Ago, some yummy italian place that is owned by Robert Deniro, crazy. And we randomly ran into Paige and her dad here too. Their staying two nights and leaving for Redlands Wednesday morning and were leaving tomorrow for our last destination, but it was good to see her! i'll be seeing a lot of her 2 days from now...
Tomorrow dad and I are going for a run and then I have a haircut at 1030 in the hotel. Hopefully we can do some shopping and sight seeing before we go to pick up mom at the Onterio airport around 5ish. It will be good to see her for my last night since her and megan have been pretty lonely at the house without me :)
Off to bed, the end of our road trip is near... woohoooo

oh ps: Meg made varsity today!! Congrats sis!!!

first night on the road!

It our first night on the road on my way to school. We're driving my car down (me and dad) and meeting mom closer to school on Tuesday. It was hard saying goodbye today. Oldest child going off to college, first daughter moving out and growing up. Both om and megan started crying, which in turn made me get all teary. It sad but I know I need to make this change and even though I'm nervous/anxious im very excited too. I wrote megan a letter of things to remember while im gone and left a few cute shirts for her to wear :) We stayed up late and watched Friends episodes in her bed last night, my last night home. I know she's going to miss me in that big room of ours but I'll be home in November! And im going to miss mommy... I dont want her to be sad. Shes coming down in October too and mabe bringing megan. I want megan to see my dorm room. I'm going to miss everyone so much! (Austin said goodbye too but he stayed on the couch to watch cartoons, haha)
We made it and are settled into Redding today after a 9 hour trek through Oregon to our current location, here in northern CA. Were in the hotel room right now, the classy Red Lion and just finished dinner at Cattlemen's Steak House. We also made a stop at Walgreens because I think I might be getting sick :/ My nose won't stop dripping and my eyes are bloodshot. I've been fighting allergies for the past week, but were starting to think it might be something more.
Anyways, we're headed to LA in the morning. Another 9 hour car ride to look forward to. It's been good father/ daughter bonding time. Today I drove a 2 hour shift, and used cruise control for the first time! The speed limits are different here, ranging from 55-65 so you really have to pay attention.
Will write tomorrow night with more to say, going to see if this Contac medicine works! Night :)

monday news

My head is a lot clearer then it was a few days ago. We got back from Victoria yesterday and it was amazing. Im now in love with canada. It was so relaxing and peaceful, I felt like I was in a whole different world. Part of the reason was mainly because it allowed me to get away from home (even if only for 2 nights) and just being with my family was nice. I felt no pressure to make plans, hang out with people, or answer peoples questions about things that made their way though the grape vine quickly after I left. Megan, my sister and my mom and I had high tea at the oldest hotel in Victoria, we got facials (felt so good!) :) and ate at these two amazing restaurants that I ate way too much at! hehe. And I took like a billion pictures so the memories will last.
I think what also made the trip so nice was the timing. It was weekend get away that was much needed and I wish I was still there.
It has been hard to be home. Too many things remind me of what used to be... pictures, phone calls, the feeling of obligation I havent really been free from from quite some time. It good for me, I know it is. But that doesnt make it any easier. But, I have my friends, and being here for only 6 days makes things exciting... not sad.
I have so much to look forward to, it doesnt make sense to look behind. So I'll carry on to new places and new people.

To new beginnings..

update...

Well I havent updated in a while. A lot has changed. Almost a week before I leave for school. The family and I are headed to Victoria BC tomorrow morning for two nights. We're taking a sea plane thats picking us up at our dock! We get home Sunday and then my last week home begins. Many doctor appts, goodbyes, and planning/packing to do... very busy. Liz spent her last day at our house today, left about an hour ago. She moved in with us for about 5 days while her family was out of town.
We had our Hill's Patry/ girls night monday night which was a success! It was great to get the girls together to have one last get together :)
Let's see... I found out my roommates names, Nickolette and Yaika... were in a triple in Williams Hall. My friend Paige is in East Hall which is the other freshmen hall so that should work out well. Im getting very excited :)
Well, I have some packing for our weekend va-ca tomorrow, will update when I get home..

I never thought it would have been that hard,
I thought I was stronger.
I thought that when you sat down I wouldn't cry,
but I couldnt get my first rehersed sentence out without choking back the tears.
Its been so long, me and you
sometimes its hard to remember before it started,
before us.
I thought breakup's required one person's feelings to fade,
but in our case it was all in the timing.
Your voice made me start to cry,
my mascara running in lines across my checks.
I just wanted you to hold me,
and tell me everything was going to be ok,
but now we're standing on two different paths.
You were my many firsts, all of them i do not regret.
Our hug good-bye was unbearable,
I didnt want to let go of my arms around your neck.
Our last kiss was simple, I wouldnt have wanted it any other way.
Your touch made me tremble.
And I couldnt look as you pulled away,
everything was too blurry, my throat was burning, and people were staring.
I learned so much,
now I just need to learn how to move on.

another

It fun keeping these poems as markers as to what I was going through, what I felt, and how things ended up in the larger scheme of things. Poetry, I believe, is the one thing I can still relate to years later and understand what was going on in my life. Its something that I love probably because it comes so easily to me, sometimes its more powerful or harsh than I would like. But I never edit, never go back and re-word things. Everything's raw. Everything's real. And that's why I like it.

my other writings...

so I used to have a blog type thing on live journal, like Sophomore through Senior year but I stopped updating it and would periodically forget about it so I basically abandoned it... BUT it wasn't really a place where I would do this kinda of journal type stuff, it was more a place I found to post my poetry. SO I decided that to stop posting my poems would be ridiculous since I am a writer at heart so every once in a while I will post some of my thoughts. Mainly because I don't want to ever forget what I was feeling at any one point in my life (good or bad) and two, poetry speaks most of the time more truth than the daily life I share in essay form. Enjoy,

This is something i wrote after patrick and I's first kiss, Nov.26th 2005. (ahhh I can't believe I kept this!)

We sat on the couch
your hand intertwined in mine.
I played with your palm
feeling the calices of your finger tips.
I don't know what this is
between us,
but I know it feels right.
You make me laugh
your presence is profound,
as we sit and talk about nothing.
I lean my head against your shoulder
and I feel safe.
Your lips find mine
the movie still playing,
I sacrifice seeing the last scene
for this.
You touch my cheek lightly
your hand cool against my flushed face.
so I write it off as another first kiss.
but i hope your different
then the last boy I kissed.
because I don't think I could take it.

family homecoming

Just got home from my last day at work... kinda bittersweet but it will be nice to not have to consult a schedule whenever i need to plan something. Megan and Austin got home tonight! I baked them their favorite cookies :) We are hosting a party tomorrow for 30 people all friends of my mom's from high school are their families. Hopefully the weather holds!
Patrick gets home from Spain tomorrow as well, he left me one message on wednesday but other than that I havent heard from him. He gets in around 4:30ish, but it will seem like 2am to him! I did want to go to the airport, but with the party and all it seemed better that I stay around the house to help entertain.
Its august now and I dont know where the time has gone. I'm just trying to enjoy it all before I leave on the 26th (or 25th) depending. All and all its been a good weekend :) so far.
OH and Ali (my 11 month older aunt) is coming home from the 12th to the 18th.... so excited! It will be nice for some much needed girl talk :)

♥

laying out and such <3

85 degree day today! I just got home from coffee with Chase, fun fun, and then stopped by Ronette's house to see the girls laying out by the pool. Mom and I layed out by our pool all of today, i know i got a little red... but I'm definitely not complaining :D anything to bring the sun out! Chase finds out his roommate in 2 days, im so excited to hear who hes got... im picturing the worst but hoping for the best!! haha.
I'm going out to dinner and a movie with the parents tonight, Cuchina Cuchina! and Oceans 13... relaxing. And we're planning on going up to Seattle on Wednesday, maybe to a Mariners game and stay in a hotel, just the 3 of us. I'm enjoying the bonding time even though I miss the other 2 somebodies who seem to make everything louder..lol.
I have today and tomorrow off from work, and my last day is going to be Saturday the 4th. It will definitely be nice to not have to consult a work schedule before planning events.
OH and i almost forgot... I got a new ipod yesterday! a pink nano that im in LOVEE with. Ive been obsessing over itunes all day!!

ps. aidan email me the other day, traveling to south Africa in a few days, very hot over there. he says things are going well. looking forward to the pictures.

fun filled day in the sun :)

So I should be working right now but it was completely dead tonight so I got to go home. Except I'm mad because I could have gone to EastWest Cafe with my parents for dinner! but they have already left. Anyways, I'm about to watch my taped episode of BIG LOVE and eat some of the fudge Liz and I got today and Tacoma Boys! when we visited lovely Megan, working very hard in the produce section I might add. Liz and I had a fun day in the sun, we went to lunch on the water, followed by a windy convertible ride to Tacoma Boys, and then a bike ride to Starbucks, Barnes&noble, and then to Ronette's house :) very fun. Our bike ride was quite the adventure, we almost collided on the sidewalk, but never fear... we survived minus some screaming.
We also went on a boat ride, and Liz had never been on our boat! so we went cruising for a while.
So all in all it was a fun filled day with my bestie :D and I made her a little care package to make her leg feel better! (Hopefully the US Weekly and cute pens helped the healing!!)
Megan and Austin are still gone for another week at camp, and Patrick just left last night for Spain for 8 days. And July is almost over... where has the time gone?

update

Well, I'm about to work the lunch shift today, first time since I've been back from our trip. I'm working everyday until Sunday, blah. But its money so I guess its a good thing. Just got home from Liz's, we had a little bbq last night on vashon. just us girls. very fun. Liz told me about her orientation experiences at UCLA, shes running there next year and it sounds so exciting! Everyone was really nice and she met most of the guys running team as well. I hope I find that where I'm going.
I also had to go to the doctor today for my follow up apt. from Monday. Since I haven't updated in a little while I didn't get the chance to write about my lovely doctor experience earlier this week, joy. So I had to get a tetnis shot, meningitis (don't know how to spell) and then a TB skin test all at once, all in one appt. sweet. And as most know I hate the doctors, needles, nurses, anything...I start freaking out in the parking lot. SO after waiting for almost a 1/2 hour to see which shots I was going to be getting (I ended up getting all of them) I was doing fine (for me) and the shots didn't even hurt that badly, and the TB test was like a prick/pinch on my forearm and I was ok, well I cried a little before but anyways, and then like 2 minutes after all of the shots I felt this wave of nausea and I told ppl I didn't feel OK and they gave me water, and then my hearing started becoming muffled and I couldn't really hear directions people were giving me, then my eyes had trouble focusing on one thing, and then I just felt my vision begin to slowly cave in. All I heard was the nurse yelling for all the other nurses to come to the room and then they put my in a wheelchair after they took my blood pressure and pulse and they were way too low. so they wheeled me out to another bigger room. BUT the wheelchair didn't fit though the door so they tired to lift me and have me walk but I collapsed on the hallway floor. yeah neat I know. so when I finally came to I saw all of these people staring at me, this lady was putting this wet towel on my face and I guess I hyperventilated and then went into shock, which led to my collapse. Very scary and not something I ever want to re-live. It was a really weird feeling being semi conscience but not being about to react in the right way because of my body. Definitely a first for me.
Mom and I made our first college shopping trip yesterday and we got though bedding, sheets, a huge trunk, make-up mirror, electric fan (no AC in Cali! ahhh), pillows, clothes hangers, little clippy hangers to hang skirts, and towels. Our amazing trip to BED BATH & BEYOND left us feeling successful and somewhat more aware of what we actually need to get done in this next month. I'm in love with my duvet cover and bedding, omg. Its from Liz Claiborne and its absolutely adorable. Its like a vanilla / creme color with a sort of floral pattern, very understated, very simple. Its called Gabriella, so cute. And my sheets are sage green with vanilla and sage pillows. SO EXCITING.
Oohps, this took a little too long. I will finish the update later :)

Home from Banks Lake

Hi, just got home from 5 days at Banks Lake! Very different from what we expected, mainly because we were looking forward to close to 100 degree weather and it was cloudy 3/5 days there, blah!! So Paige and I's desire to tan slowly faded and we are home about the same color as we left, Paige being much tanner than me, lol. BUT we did have some pretty hilarious adventures, like sea-dooing, getting caught in a wind storm that temporarily turned the lake into an frickin ocean, and ummm well playing spades for hours on end with the girlies :) oh and lets not forget our mixed drinks and mikes that kept us content even when the sun was away :D
Anyways, we didnt get cell service either so we made some trips to the nearby town of Electric City, and picked up some nonfat iced sugar-free carmal lattes at Tepee's...hahah
So work starts up again on Monday but I think the 3rd will be my last day so I can devote some time to packing before I leave. So much to do!! Ronette just stopped by and vented about her new job at this swim wear shop, H I L A R I O U S. Im going to visit her next week.
Hopefully Ill get to see Patrick tonight, he leaves for Spain on the 27th for a week with Maddie :) they will have so much fun!

summer thunder storms... oh my!

Driving home tonight and was amazed at the thunder and lightning that lit up the sky. It was pitch black all around me and the street lights made it seem lighter than it was and then I would see the thunder bolt and the whole sky would turn dark red. It was really scary at first but as it kept happening I ended up actually liking the whole experience. I have never been that close to lightning before, and the idea would have made me uneasy but it was actually really neat! and in some weird way calming/relaxing.
I went to tcby tonight with Anjelica and we met Ronette and Eli. It was hilarious, Ronette just started her new job (swim wear store!) and we basically entertained ourseleves from stories about Ronettes dad. HILARIOUS. I almost peed my pants. Oh gosh. AND I got to ride in Anjelica's new car :) red x-terra. very cute. :D and clean.
And then we hung out at her house after and vented which felt really nice because everything has been kinda crazy these days. With the idea of school looming and all of the thousands of things I need to do I find myself going a little crazy.
I worked tonight, made $40 in tips, ok. I got a check yesterday for $280 something :) very exciting. And Im keeping all of my tips in an envelope and I've collected more than $400!!
VERY tempted to take that straight to Nordstroms.
Going to see Patrick tomorrow. He got his braces off this week!! very exciting, and he liked the plate/tray I made him :) it turned out really neat. (hopefully its not too dorky, lol.) but he better like it! I gave it to him at the midnight showing of Harry Potter on tuesday, which I didnt like and thought was way too dark. but anyways, I have an on-call tomorrow at 12. Mom and I are running at 8am. She better be at the front door!!
We leave for Banks Lake on Monday morning for a week, bringing Miss Paige with me!! And very excited to spend a whole week sun tanning and going in the lake :) and catching up with Paige before we both head off to the same college :D
Going to bed, there are some girls in my bed from Meg's sleep over so I think I have the couch...
cool.

lazy day

Hii. Patrick and Matt are on their way over for some din din. I had today and tomorrow off! So I babysat these two cute twin boys and made cookies for the boys. They're out of an all chocolate recipe book and turned out really yummy!! AND Megan and I just fandangoed tickets to see the new Harry Potter movie for the midnight showing tomorrow night! yah :) very exciting.
But I did hurt myself in the kitchen, the determined baker that i am. I went to reach for a pan to put the cookies on and it was balancing against another smaller round pan and it came down with it... first bouncing off my elbow and then my thumb. My elbow is purple (mom confirmed) and my thumb is ALREADY sore. I was trying to put m hair up and it doesnt bend backwards. blah.
Anyways, went to Jorde's bday celebration last night for dinner and games. very fun. We played that white elephant game and I got an archery set thing, but I took Jimmys giraffe finger thing that makes it look like a little giraffe face if you point your fingers. I was very amused by it so i stole it :D
Tomorrow I babysit again for the twins, only for an hour or so, and then Megan and I are going shopping for capes to wear to the premeire, hahaha. call us dorks, and Meg is refusing and putting up a good fight, but I'll make her cave.
bye for now.

sunnnyy dayss :)

Its another sunny day, one of many in this early month of july. Its so nice to get up and see people on the lake and hear everything outside moving and chirping. The sun really just puts me in such a better mood, I love it! That is one of the reasons I'm looking forward to this fall... southern california, nothing but sun sun sun.
I'm babysitting today just for an hour for the Gilpin's and then I have work at 6. Hopefully I won't have another banquet disaster. Maddie and Sarah came to visit me at lunch yesterday!!! It was very cute of them and they even waited until noon when my shift started to order and eat :) it made my day!
Patrick is at a basketball tournament and he gets back tonight. They lost their first game and won the second one, excited to see him tomorrow? not sure. AND he gets his braces off on tuesday and he's had them on for forever so he's very excited. I made him something special at the art&clay place when I went with Ronette so I'll give it to him then :D
Liz and Jaleesa just left. They spent the night along with Paige but she left early for work. We all went to see Licence to Wed last night which I thought was really cute!!! very funny even if slightly cheesy (my favorite kind!!)

some unpleasant news

I just got home from a walk/run with mom and have work in an hour and a half. I already have an afternoon of errands behind me... went to breakfast with Lizzie at this cute cafe close to my house. Then she left for a doctors appt. while Meg and I headed out to go grocery shopping, german deli, && the french hen for lunch :)
But during breakfast I felt really funny and started getting nauseas. It something thats been happening lately and its probably becuase I started taking the pill about 3 weeks ago but hopefully my body can adjust and get over it.
And on another no so good note, my dad just found out a few days ago that his accountant, bitch Cari, has been embezzling from my dad's company and our family for over a year and a half... and has stolen over $300,000. She has bought cars, shoes, made rent payments, gone on trips, stayed in hotels, and all of it has been courtesy of our family and her forgery.
She used one of my dad's accounts at one of four banks he uses and has been forging my dad's signiture and making checks out to herself. My dad and uncle Joe finally became suspicious of her spendings and finally found the hundreds of banking deposits written out to her name.
SO all of our accounts have been forzen, i cant access money, and the entire company has to do an entire scrub down of all finances in every active account. Its unbelievable and depressing and disheartening that someone who we trusted so much could stab you in the back. I never want to see her again. I hope she goes to jail for a long time.

ps. Uncle Joe pulled up a case online of a man who embezzled in Olympia about a year ago and stole half of what Cari did and he got 25 years in jail. I hope she suffers.

happy fourth! & a car accident...

Happy fourth to everyone!! I just woke up from and nap and finishing helping my sister with a flag cake she created from Barefoot Contessa (very delicious) and am about to get ready and changed for tonight. It might help if I knew what I was doing but plans are still up in the air. My family is going to dinner at our neighbors house in a little bit and Im going for the food :) and then fireworks with Patrick? Im not sure. I went over to his house last night and we watched Freedom Writers and had a late dinner. Acutually I showd up later than everyone else so they had already started and I kinda felt bad but it was ok. They had a really nice family over and it was gorgeous outside so we ate on the deck.
Some recent happenings... I crashed my dad's car on Saturday. Yeah, I know. perfect timing. Mine was still in the shop and I had driving it becuase its so big, ugh. I was driving home from lunch with the girls and Ronette was in the car, and there was a blinking yellow light and the mid-sized SUV in front of me stopped and I didnt give myself enough time. My mistake, my fault... but I didnt get a ticket and the poilce officer was really nice. The lady I hit was asian and she had he son with her and she got out the of car complaining about her neck...... yeah. SO we are looking at paying thousands in medical bills.
Anyways, everyone was safe and ok so I guess thats all that matters.
I am actually really glad to be here typing because I was supposed to have a lunch shift at noon but I got there and it was DEAD so they told me I could go. YaH!!
Tomorrow I work at 5:30pm for the dinner shift and the night after the fourth is always crazy because no one wants to cook.
Oh well.

tips, tips, tips...

It's a little after 11am and I just got the call that I dont have to come into work at 12 for my on-call. I was actually relieved because I worked last night till 11pm and it was my first dinner shift so I was worn out to say the least. BUT I made $94 in tips!!! :D and I got to keep $81 of it. You have to tip out the bus boy, expo (person who delievers food) and the bar... so after that doling I walked with about $80... very exciting!!! The lunch shift I did on Tuesday I made $40 in tips but I only worked from 12:00-2:30pm, so not too long. Tonight I work at 6 in the banquet room and am looking forward to it!
Yesterday I got to see Patrick for the first time since he left for Massachusetts last Saturday. We went to lunch and then ended up playing a borad game with my sister and her friends. It was just nice to see him if anything... glad he is home :) AND he gets his braces off in july. He's had them for forever, before we started dating. So its going to be weird seeing him with them off, but he's excited and so am I. I told him I get to be the first girl he kisses without braces... quite an honor, hahaha.
Family reunion is next Monday. Family is coming up from California... staying in the apartment above our garage. I requested Monday off so I could help mom get ready for our guests and Patrick might come over for a bit to play with the boys.

first day on the job :)

It's almost 9:45am and I just ate breakfast. Going to go downstairs to workout and watch Sex&the City soon before I have work at noon. Passed my server final yesterday! 91% :) So today is officially my first day of work on my own and tips!! finally. I'm kinda nervous but hopefully it will go well. I actually got my schedule and I'm working everyday until Sunday this week... blah. And I have like 2 'on calls,' one today at 4 and another on Saturday. AND I work both Friday and Saturday nights this week, ick. But hopefully I'll start making good money to bring with me next year. I got my first paycheck yesterday too. It was only for one week ($167) but that's still good I guess.
Scrapbooking was really fun with Maddie and Sarah last night! We made 3 different themed spreads that turned out really cute so hopefully I can go to Michael's and buy the right sized scrapbook for those pages.
Patrick got home last night really late from Williams. Today he's playing golf with his Dad and friend but hopefully if I don't have my 'on call' I can see him tonight. I miss him!
The whole family left me home because of work while they go and pick up my brother from wakeboarding camp 2 hrs away. Then they're shopping and going to dinner... family bonding minus me... wooohoooo. But I guess its kinda nice to have some me time. Off to work out!

tennis time

Just running off to tennis. It's actually sunny out which is impressive for our usual june gloom days. I have work today at 2:30 (server final) ahhh!! and then I'm taking a scrapbooking class with my friend Maddie :) very excited. I have just started scarpbooking this year. I made one for my boyfriend and now want to make one for myself, scrapbooking my senior year of high school. Hopefully it will be something fun... off to hit.

the first one

Hi. My name is Lauren and want to first off say that I've never had one of these. I've tried to keep journals or diaries to document my life so that I can look back and be able to re-live what I might have forgotton as the years go on. BUT, I find myself getting two weeks into them and then losing momentum... so here I am trying something new, hoping it will stick :) I did used to have a livejournal where I would post prose and poetry but then that even seemed to get old quickly. That and the fact that I felt very emo splashing my feelings about life and relationships across cyber space, lol.
To start off with I'll give the basics of my life right now. I am offically a cwa 2007 high school graduate. I'm headed off to California for college in the fall. I just started a new job as a waitress and am finishing training tomorrow. yah! I'll finally get to serve on my own and make my own tips :) I have my "server final" tomorrow, which is kinda intimidating but its basically just questions about the food and menu stuff...im hoping!
Otherwise I'm just enjoying myself and trying to take advantage of my last summer home. I still catch myself thinking about high school and classes in fall, which is an understandable habit since I went there for 14 years, but it is real and I am leaving. Bittersweet I guess.
What else? I have a boyfriend of a little over a year and a half :) very happy. but he's staying here and I'm going so we have already subtley agreed that we wont be together next year. I dont know how I feel about it. Sad, of course but I rarely think about it because then I start freaking myself out that I'm not going to have him soon so its better just to enjoy the good stuff right now. yeah? Well, whether its right or wrong to aviod the subject I wouldn't want the thought of how hard its going to be in a few months to ruin what we have now (if that makes sense.)