My head is a lot clearer then it was a few days ago. We got back from Victoria yesterday and it was amazing. Im now in love with canada. It was so relaxing and peaceful, I felt like I was in a whole different world. Part of the reason was mainly because it allowed me to get away from home (even if only for 2 nights) and just being with my family was nice. I felt no pressure to make plans, hang out with people, or answer peoples questions about things that made their way though the grape vine quickly after I left. Megan, my sister and my mom and I had high tea at the oldest hotel in Victoria, we got facials (felt so good!) :) and ate at these two amazing restaurants that I ate way too much at! hehe. And I took like a billion pictures so the memories will last.
I think what also made the trip so nice was the timing. It was weekend get away that was much needed and I wish I was still there.
It has been hard to be home. Too many things remind me of what used to be... pictures, phone calls, the feeling of obligation I havent really been free from from quite some time. It good for me, I know it is. But that doesnt make it any easier. But, I have my friends, and being here for only 6 days makes things exciting... not sad.
I have so much to look forward to, it doesnt make sense to look behind. So I'll carry on to new places and new people.
To new beginnings..
Monday, August 20, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
update...
Well I havent updated in a while. A lot has changed. Almost a week before I leave for school. The family and I are headed to Victoria BC tomorrow morning for two nights. We're taking a sea plane thats picking us up at our dock! We get home Sunday and then my last week home begins. Many doctor appts, goodbyes, and planning/packing to do... very busy. Liz spent her last day at our house today, left about an hour ago. She moved in with us for about 5 days while her family was out of town.
We had our Hill's Patry/ girls night monday night which was a success! It was great to get the girls together to have one last get together :)
Let's see... I found out my roommates names, Nickolette and Yaika... were in a triple in Williams Hall. My friend Paige is in East Hall which is the other freshmen hall so that should work out well. Im getting very excited :)
Well, I have some packing for our weekend va-ca tomorrow, will update when I get home..
I never thought it would have been that hard,
I thought I was stronger.
I thought that when you sat down I wouldn't cry,
but I couldnt get my first rehersed sentence out without choking back the tears.
Its been so long, me and you
sometimes its hard to remember before it started,
before us.
I thought breakup's required one person's feelings to fade,
but in our case it was all in the timing.
Your voice made me start to cry,
my mascara running in lines across my checks.
I just wanted you to hold me,
and tell me everything was going to be ok,
but now we're standing on two different paths.
You were my many firsts, all of them i do not regret.
Our hug good-bye was unbearable,
I didnt want to let go of my arms around your neck.
Our last kiss was simple, I wouldnt have wanted it any other way.
Your touch made me tremble.
And I couldnt look as you pulled away,
everything was too blurry, my throat was burning, and people were staring.
I learned so much,
now I just need to learn how to move on.
We had our Hill's Patry/ girls night monday night which was a success! It was great to get the girls together to have one last get together :)
Let's see... I found out my roommates names, Nickolette and Yaika... were in a triple in Williams Hall. My friend Paige is in East Hall which is the other freshmen hall so that should work out well. Im getting very excited :)
Well, I have some packing for our weekend va-ca tomorrow, will update when I get home..
I never thought it would have been that hard,
I thought I was stronger.
I thought that when you sat down I wouldn't cry,
but I couldnt get my first rehersed sentence out without choking back the tears.
Its been so long, me and you
sometimes its hard to remember before it started,
before us.
I thought breakup's required one person's feelings to fade,
but in our case it was all in the timing.
Your voice made me start to cry,
my mascara running in lines across my checks.
I just wanted you to hold me,
and tell me everything was going to be ok,
but now we're standing on two different paths.
You were my many firsts, all of them i do not regret.
Our hug good-bye was unbearable,
I didnt want to let go of my arms around your neck.
Our last kiss was simple, I wouldnt have wanted it any other way.
Your touch made me tremble.
And I couldnt look as you pulled away,
everything was too blurry, my throat was burning, and people were staring.
I learned so much,
now I just need to learn how to move on.
Monday, August 6, 2007
another
It fun keeping these poems as markers as to what I was going through, what I felt, and how things ended up in the larger scheme of things. Poetry, I believe, is the one thing I can still relate to years later and understand what was going on in my life. Its something that I love probably because it comes so easily to me, sometimes its more powerful or harsh than I would like. But I never edit, never go back and re-word things. Everything's raw. Everything's real. And that's why I like it.
my other writings...
so I used to have a blog type thing on live journal, like Sophomore through Senior year but I stopped updating it and would periodically forget about it so I basically abandoned it... BUT it wasn't really a place where I would do this kinda of journal type stuff, it was more a place I found to post my poetry. SO I decided that to stop posting my poems would be ridiculous since I am a writer at heart so every once in a while I will post some of my thoughts. Mainly because I don't want to ever forget what I was feeling at any one point in my life (good or bad) and two, poetry speaks most of the time more truth than the daily life I share in essay form. Enjoy,
This is something i wrote after patrick and I's first kiss, Nov.26th 2005. (ahhh I can't believe I kept this!)
We sat on the couch
your hand intertwined in mine.
I played with your palm
feeling the calices of your finger tips.
I don't know what this is
between us,
but I know it feels right.
You make me laugh
your presence is profound,
as we sit and talk about nothing.
I lean my head against your shoulder
and I feel safe.
Your lips find mine
the movie still playing,
I sacrifice seeing the last scene
for this.
You touch my cheek lightly
your hand cool against my flushed face.
so I write it off as another first kiss.
but i hope your different
then the last boy I kissed.
because I don't think I could take it.
This is something i wrote after patrick and I's first kiss, Nov.26th 2005. (ahhh I can't believe I kept this!)
We sat on the couch
your hand intertwined in mine.
I played with your palm
feeling the calices of your finger tips.
I don't know what this is
between us,
but I know it feels right.
You make me laugh
your presence is profound,
as we sit and talk about nothing.
I lean my head against your shoulder
and I feel safe.
Your lips find mine
the movie still playing,
I sacrifice seeing the last scene
for this.
You touch my cheek lightly
your hand cool against my flushed face.
so I write it off as another first kiss.
but i hope your different
then the last boy I kissed.
because I don't think I could take it.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
family homecoming
Just got home from my last day at work... kinda bittersweet but it will be nice to not have to consult a schedule whenever i need to plan something. Megan and Austin got home tonight! I baked them their favorite cookies :) We are hosting a party tomorrow for 30 people all friends of my mom's from high school are their families. Hopefully the weather holds!
Patrick gets home from Spain tomorrow as well, he left me one message on wednesday but other than that I havent heard from him. He gets in around 4:30ish, but it will seem like 2am to him! I did want to go to the airport, but with the party and all it seemed better that I stay around the house to help entertain.
Its august now and I dont know where the time has gone. I'm just trying to enjoy it all before I leave on the 26th (or 25th) depending. All and all its been a good weekend :) so far.
OH and Ali (my 11 month older aunt) is coming home from the 12th to the 18th.... so excited! It will be nice for some much needed girl talk :)
♥
Patrick gets home from Spain tomorrow as well, he left me one message on wednesday but other than that I havent heard from him. He gets in around 4:30ish, but it will seem like 2am to him! I did want to go to the airport, but with the party and all it seemed better that I stay around the house to help entertain.
Its august now and I dont know where the time has gone. I'm just trying to enjoy it all before I leave on the 26th (or 25th) depending. All and all its been a good weekend :) so far.
OH and Ali (my 11 month older aunt) is coming home from the 12th to the 18th.... so excited! It will be nice for some much needed girl talk :)
♥
Monday, July 30, 2007
laying out and such <3
85 degree day today! I just got home from coffee with Chase, fun fun, and then stopped by Ronette's house to see the girls laying out by the pool. Mom and I layed out by our pool all of today, i know i got a little red... but I'm definitely not complaining :D anything to bring the sun out! Chase finds out his roommate in 2 days, im so excited to hear who hes got... im picturing the worst but hoping for the best!! haha.
I'm going out to dinner and a movie with the parents tonight, Cuchina Cuchina! and Oceans 13... relaxing. And we're planning on going up to Seattle on Wednesday, maybe to a Mariners game and stay in a hotel, just the 3 of us. I'm enjoying the bonding time even though I miss the other 2 somebodies who seem to make everything louder..lol.
I have today and tomorrow off from work, and my last day is going to be Saturday the 4th. It will definitely be nice to not have to consult a work schedule before planning events.
OH and i almost forgot... I got a new ipod yesterday! a pink nano that im in LOVEE with. Ive been obsessing over itunes all day!!
ps. aidan email me the other day, traveling to south Africa in a few days, very hot over there. he says things are going well. looking forward to the pictures.
I'm going out to dinner and a movie with the parents tonight, Cuchina Cuchina! and Oceans 13... relaxing. And we're planning on going up to Seattle on Wednesday, maybe to a Mariners game and stay in a hotel, just the 3 of us. I'm enjoying the bonding time even though I miss the other 2 somebodies who seem to make everything louder..lol.
I have today and tomorrow off from work, and my last day is going to be Saturday the 4th. It will definitely be nice to not have to consult a work schedule before planning events.
OH and i almost forgot... I got a new ipod yesterday! a pink nano that im in LOVEE with. Ive been obsessing over itunes all day!!
ps. aidan email me the other day, traveling to south Africa in a few days, very hot over there. he says things are going well. looking forward to the pictures.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
fun filled day in the sun :)
So I should be working right now but it was completely dead tonight so I got to go home. Except I'm mad because I could have gone to EastWest Cafe with my parents for dinner! but they have already left. Anyways, I'm about to watch my taped episode of BIG LOVE and eat some of the fudge Liz and I got today and Tacoma Boys! when we visited lovely Megan, working very hard in the produce section I might add. Liz and I had a fun day in the sun, we went to lunch on the water, followed by a windy convertible ride to Tacoma Boys, and then a bike ride to Starbucks, Barnes&noble, and then to Ronette's house :) very fun. Our bike ride was quite the adventure, we almost collided on the sidewalk, but never fear... we survived minus some screaming.
We also went on a boat ride, and Liz had never been on our boat! so we went cruising for a while.
So all in all it was a fun filled day with my bestie :D and I made her a little care package to make her leg feel better! (Hopefully the US Weekly and cute pens helped the healing!!)
Megan and Austin are still gone for another week at camp, and Patrick just left last night for Spain for 8 days. And July is almost over... where has the time gone?
We also went on a boat ride, and Liz had never been on our boat! so we went cruising for a while.
So all in all it was a fun filled day with my bestie :D and I made her a little care package to make her leg feel better! (Hopefully the US Weekly and cute pens helped the healing!!)
Megan and Austin are still gone for another week at camp, and Patrick just left last night for Spain for 8 days. And July is almost over... where has the time gone?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)