Dear Mr. Dentist, you are not my friend

My annual dentist apt. this morning went something like this...

X-ray's
Gum tissue check... "you have slightly receding gums, don't brush too hard"
Bottom row check... "you have the start of some build up, make sure your brushing in consecutive circles softly around your gum line as well." "Don't just brush side to side." (whatever that means?)
Top row check
Flossing... "you have inflamed gums, maybe we should try you on sensitivity toothpaste" nurse: "yes I can tell you don't floss day and night, it is quite apparent"
Fluoride
Doctor comes in
Cavity.
Cavity.
3 other "areas to watch" that could be filled "to be safe"
nurse: (chuckles) "you just cant expect to come in here and think everything is going to go well it you neglect your gums!"

after appointment, nurse gives receptionist my papers, who says I need to make three appointments.

her: cheery voice! "Oooookkkkk, wow. Ok, so lets see, I'm looking at september for your first appointment..."
me: "Oh I'm actually going to be abroad, I leave the end of the month."
(she just stares at me.)
me: "Yeah..."
her: not-so-cheery voice "Well I don't know who you like I am, some kind of miracle worker??"
me: "Oh, no I'm sorry..."
her: "We're booked out through all of August"
me: "Oookkkk...."
her: "Like we don't even have an hour to spare so I will contact you if a cancellation appears, I'd have your phone with you at all times" (raises her eyebrows) "So we really can't help you right now."

Dear Mr. Dentist & Staff,
No, I do not sit in my dorm room all year and floss my teeth. I have a life. I am running around a mile and minute and on most days, my metal check list does not include "flossing" in its top five. I am sorry. I do however care about my teeth. My teeth are not unhealthy, some weird color, or neglected. And I do floss. I'll admit, I do not study my back molars in the mirror every night or worry about abstaining from specific foods that might "upset" my gums.
I do not like feeling like a criminal at your office and I also do NOT like feeling as if I am inconveniencing you by trying to make an apt. within the next three weeks.
I did not have a good morning because of you all, and I just wanted to send this out to cyberspace so I might feel a little better about things.
Sincerely,
Lauren

I did however finish my book, and am starting Firefly Lane tonight! Hopefully that will put me in a better mood :)